Tag Archives: funny marketing

Joe Rogan - Joey Diaz - Tom Segura = Hooker Stories, Mysterious Shit Stories, And Belly Aching Laughs.

Joe Rogan – Joey Diaz – Tom Segura = Hooker Stories, Mysterious Shit Stories, And Belly Aching Laughs.

This is one of my favorite Joe Rogan podcasts of all time because Joey Diaz is on a roll, as Tom Segura said “dude I need a break.”

“You almost hospitalized me once” to Joey Diaz.

When Joey Diaz was telling one of the funny stories of many in this hilarious podcast that is fitting for the funny marketer.

I do not know what Joey Diaz was on but he was funny as hell in this podcast his stories were belly aching funny as I am sure Joe Rogan @ Tom Segura would agree with my Einsteinesque analogy.

So, sit back relax smoke a fatty, drink a 40, or whatever else rocks your precious ship.

Hell, drink some water if you want you lame ass mofo.

Anyhow, sucka my minca ….

Did I spell that right?

Shit, who knows I do not speak Italian!

But sucka my minca anyways bitches.

Enjoy the best of my favorite podcast the Joe Rogan experience.

The funny marketer out!

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Forrest Gump And Making Money Online Forrest Gump+Shrimping+Making Money Online Funny Marketing Funny Marketing Story

Forrest Gump+Shrimping+Making Money Online

Runnnnn Forrest Runnnnnnnn!

When Jenny uttered those 3 magical words Forrests legs were like magical rocket ships that whisked him away faster than the speed of light.

“That boy sure could run”

Forrest sure did have some real magical legs.

But, what made Forrest so special besides his sprinting abilities was forests knack to seize opportunities when they presented themselves.

For instance.

Remember, when Forrest Gump started that shrimping business with Lieutenant Dan.

When all those other shrimping boats sank when that storm of the century came roaring through.

Forrests SS Jenny was the only shrimping boat left standing undamaged when the whole shrimping fleet was left utterly decommissioned.

So, needless to say Forrest and Lieutenant Dan caught all those tasty shrimp and made all that tasty money in the process.

Then Lieutenant Dan the no legged first mate invested all that shrimping money into a little company called Apple.

Perhaps you have heard of it.

Wink!

Forrest and Lieutenant Dan both made a boatload of money.

Then lieutenant Dan bought himself some new magical titanium legs @ even got married in the process.

Yep, Lieutenant Dan got his new legs and all was good in the World.

Forrest Gump is one of my favorite movies on the planet.

Forrest Gump is a classic movie with a lot of life lessons inside the movie that you can learn from.

So, where am I going with this Forrest Gump story.

My point is you should seize opportunities when they present themselves.

Just like Forrest Gump was able to do if you want to learn how to make money online as an affiliate marketer.

Seize the shrimp boat + Apple stocks like Forrest did.

Forrest wasn’t a very smart man but he knew what money waaaasssss!

Anyhooo.

That Apple stock is your bonified self made millionaire teacher Michael Cheney.

That shrimping boat well that is going to take you to your destination when it is sailing by a little cours called the Gold Rush.

Seize the opportunity like Forrest so smartly did.

Run over and grab your piece of the Gold Rush just like Forrest did.

Here;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/michael-cheney-gold-rush/

Be your own ping pong star, shrimping boat captain, college football star, and the bazillion other things this mentally challenged movie man was able to accomplish with his life.

P.S. Remember to tuck that lip in Bubba if you go out and do everything on your own.

That wouldn’t be very smart.

That trip wire might detonate.

Happy travels.

Jay

A.K.A. the funny marketer.

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Playboy Fabio Hunk Makes Her Scream OMG

Playboy Fabio Hunk Makes Her Scream OMG While Creating An Online ATM Machine

The Man Was All Twisted Steel And Sex Appeal.

Chiseled and shredded to the bone.

His long blonde hair flowed in the wind like he was running through Chicago in the middle of a twister.

His bronzed skin glowed like he had just participated in an all night sex party.

Oh, he had it all!

The looks, and the body that made the men shutter with envy @ the women swoon with lustful fantasies of this modern day Fabio Hunk.

Oh my gawddddd it’s him!!!

These thirsty females would scream like teen girls that just entered a Justin Bieber concert.

It was sickening to say the least.

This man got more ass than a toilet seat at an Ebola clinic in sub saharan Africa.

But,

There was one thing that this modern day hunk did not have and that was money of his own.

You know.

Moolah, dinero, cheddar, benjamins, dead presidents, green, whatever the hell you assholes want to call it.

This man was money retarded.

Yep,

His handsome face was plastered to the window of the short bus with his tongue licking the busses dirty window when it came to making money.

Yes, he could make the ladies swoon!

But, he couldn’t pay his damn cable bill to save his life.

Sure, he could sell himself to the highest bidder.

But, he was more than just a piece of tasty meat that all the women just wanted to gobble up like a great white shark on a chubby ass seal.

Much more!

He desperately wanted more cash;

He was willing to learn;

He hungered with everything in his sexy body to learn;

His ripped muscles quivered at the pure thought of knowledge;

One of his many girlfriends who had to pay for him wherever they went was quoted as saying.

“Like OMG”! You are so hot!

Just like Fabio, but the real Fabio has money, and your broker than a one legged whino on a street corner.

Bobbing her head back as her double D’S bounced up and down like a circus freak on a trampoline.

I’m not your sugar mamma Fabio!

You really need to get your act together and start making some real money!

She screamed!

That was the last straw in his handsome hat!

He would show her!

He would show all of them!

He was more than just a handsome face and a perfect ripped body!

He heard about people making money online!

Hell, if they can do it!

So, can I!

Muhahahaaaaaa!

He stumbled upon a chap from the U.K named Michael who was going to teach this handsome fella how the art of making money is done.

Fabio wannabe came.

Fabio wanna be saw.

Fabio wannabe started making money online.

And the rest is history!

With this;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/michael-cheney-gold-rush/

Now he really has it all the looks, the ripped body, the ladies, and last but not least the money!

Doesn’t this just make you sick!

The funny marketer out!

Stay handsome peeps!

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Uncategorized

One Legged Midget Hillbilly Prospector Strikes Gold Instantly

Michael Cheney Rap

This is a story of a one legged midget named Ted.

The poor little guy barely kept his family fed.

Then one day he was limping over for some food.

And up through his computer shot a golden brood.

Online Gold that is Texas tea.

Now,

The next thing you know Teds a millionaire.

His little clan said Ted you can buy a leg just over there.

Little Ted said Michael Cheneys course is the place you all outta be.

You wont need no shovels to strike Gold and wont have to dress like a hillbilllyyyyyy!!!

So, the clan loaded up there truck and they all bought from Cheneyyyy

On dis link dat is.

Down yonder.

Right down there.

Click dat link and you wont have to move to Beverlyyyyy.

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/michael-cheney-gold-rush/

You all strike gold now ya hear?

This was Beverly hillbillies theme song inspired.

Click the link to get the real gold and I’ll stop singing in this email.

Promise.

TTYL

Happy prospecting.

Ted

A.K.A.Jay

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Uncategorized

Yo Mama, Yo Daddy, Yo Bald Headed Granny. Oh, No He Didn’t!

Yo Mama Don’t Dance And Your Daddy Don’t Rock N Roll But YO Bald Headed Granny Is Dancing Like A 20 Year Old Fillipino Break Dancer!

Want To Know Why?

I bet you do you nosey son of a gun you!

You see it is simple your mama don’t dance because well, she just can’t dance she sucks!

What did you expect something clever?

Ok, ok, you win here goes!

Yes, she is white and it is not right when it comes to shaking her tail feather!

If she is not white, and still can’t dance, well she still sucks!

I am equal opportunity dancer basher.

She is not taking her dancing talents to south beach like Lebron James did with the Miami Heat!

So she does not dance case closed!

Yo daddy cant rock n roll because the dude cant sing or swing his hips to save his life.

Unless you count that weird robot dance middle aged men do when they have had one too many Heinekens!

American idol or the voice no worries your safe from your daddies abomination of lackless talent.

See those big words I threw in there to make me look smart? Yeah those sucked too!

You know what does not suck?

Yo bald headed granny!

Yep,

she’s twisting, she’s grooving, she’s moving, she’s spinning, and by golly she is winning!

Why?

She discovered this affiliate marketing coaching that’s teaching her how to get lot’s of bingo money, and that dream Cadillac with those shiny rims she always wanted to pimp the streets of a neighborhood near you, and she’s putting the 20 year old fillipino break dancers to shame with her groovy moves!

See how here;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/ready-to-10x-your-affiliate-marketing-income-and-change-your-life-can-you-find-the-wizard-of-affiliate-oz/

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Uncategorized

The Worlds First Intelligent Designer @ Social Media Automation Software Is Here

Like Straight From A Future Stephen Spielberg Hot Selling Book And Future Film Where A.I. Rules Social Media!

Ever see all those cool quotes, posts, graphics, questions, banners, etc.. that tend to get so many shares and likes?

Yep, I do all the time!

Because they work!

But;

These marketers probably spend a lot of time and money creating this type of viral content.

What if you could automate this process?

Well know you can!

With this breakthrough A.I. software that works 24/7 for you.

Create;

Affiliate Graphics

Quotes:

Questions?

And much more!

Bringing you tons of traffic!

And you don’t have to sit on the computer all day getting a sore ass!

Who wants a sore ass anyways.

Direct your leads to your blog, affiliate offers, or whatever you want.

This A.I. wants to do all the stuff that you do not want to do 24/7.

Freeing up your time.

It will even get the virtual sore ass for you.

So, you can do what you want.

See how;

Here;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/pixamatic-pro/

I been on the computer too long my ass is sore.

Thankfully I hired this A.I. software as well.

Off to the gym:)

TTYL

Jay

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Biz Opp Funny Marketing Illinois Lottery Michigan Lottery

Michigan Illinois Lottery This Biz Opp Has Them All Beat

Michigan Illinois Lottery Pics

 

If you are playing the Michigan or the Illinois lottery and you are planning on striking it rich.

Good luck with that!

Chances are 1 in almost 300 million that you will be doing cartwheels, and island hunting:)

But there still is that little tiny itsy bitsy chance, and people will not hesitate to throw there hard earned money down the toilet for that little chance.

Wait can you hear the flushing sound?

😉

These odds are better than you winning the Michigan or Illinois lottery.

Facts:

You have better odds killing a great white shark in 500 feet of water with your bare hands.

Or better yet how about choking out a lion in the African Savannah.

How about beating a cheetah in a foot race.

Yeah good luck with that too:)

You get my point!

How about investing in your future

This top entrepreneur and businessman is giving away the keys to his $1.1 million dollar a year internet biz.

100% instant commissions on all his products, $1,000 instant Paypal commissions, A-Z training complete with HD videos that shows you step by step how to make money with affiliate marketing.

Affiliate marketing is promoting other peoples products or services online in exchange for a commission for you newbies reading this.

Stop relying on the Michigan and Illinois lottery to strike it rich.

Invest in yourself!

This has much, much, better odds of making you money.

This is funnymarketer.com endorsed.

Check it out below.

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/7-figure-franchise/

TTYL

Jay

Aka The Funny Marketer.

 

Michigan Illinois Lottery Pics

Click here for much better odds than the michigan illinois lottery

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Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing This Pays Entrepreneurs Bigger Than Trump + Cuban Combined

This Pays Entrepreneurs Bigger Than Trump + Cuban Combined

Here a Trump.

There a Trump.

Everywhere a Trump, Trump.

Money Here.

Money There.

Money dancing everywhere.

Cha cha cha…

Mark Cuban hates your political views.

But you don’t care!

You want to give him a giant wedgie pulling his underwear.

Cha cha cha…

Put you both together.

What do we have?

A giant bag of moolah that can sing and dance.

Who has more money?

Trump or Cuban?

Well it’s all the same.

I think Mark Cuban does because he don’t play no games.

President Trump would beg to differ.

He says his entrepreneurial games stiffer.

Cha Cha Cha…..

Ok enough rhyming:)

What do these two well known billionaire entrepreneurs have in common?

Well they know how to make tons of cash.

And….

Drumroll please….

They recognize a great business opportunity when they see it.

Mark Cubans a shark in real life and on t.v.

Trumps a shark as the p.o.t.u.s. and as a serial entrepreneur.

I’ve literally seen Trumps shark fin point out the back of his suit behind his neck:)

In all seriousness, hes not a real shark people.

This isn’t Jaws for the love of all that is holy and good….

These two genius marketers are not scaaaaarrrrrrdddd

To Take Calculated Risks.

Risks that can make them much more money then they spend in the longrun.

Cuban + Trump invest in themselves.

And you can do the same.

Want to invest in yourself?

Make Your Name Goes Here Great Again?

Well good amigo.

Ok back to rhyming:)

Here comes the real Jay shady.

Telling it like it is.

Listen to him if you want to have a profitable biz.

Enter a 7 figure marketer.

Who can teach you the same.

You definitely need this to improve your money game.

Selling high ticket this is where its at.

If you don’t see my point, I hope you get attacked by a big ass cat.

This 7 figure marketer can teach you to make your bank account sing.

$1,000 commissions will make the cash registers ring.

The keys to his $1.1 million dollar business.

Will make you do the money dance.

Now click that link below Mr. fancy pants.

Click here:

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/7-figure-franchise/

LA La La La La…..

I hope you enjoyed my rhyme.

I will see you next time.

Jay

A.K.A

The Funny Marketer.

This Pays Entrepreneurs Bigger Than Trump + Cuban Combined

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Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing King Kong Beats Stupid Marketers With Jurassic Sized Bananas

King Kong Beats Stupid Marketers With Jurassic Sized Bananas

Wonder why they call that box office hit Kong skull island?

Those are human remains of deceased internet marketers.

Who ventured into hostile enemy territory.

Then got the king kong banana beatdown from the depths of hell.

That Jurassic sized Gorilla really layed the smackdown.

He hit the marketers so hard banana juice was pouring out of there orifices.

Ouch, ouch, ouch. and more ouch!

Kong is one powerful supersized ape that you do not want to piss off.

If you did you would get that old school gorilla beatdown that littered skull island with human carcasses.

Kong is that huge gorilla in the room marketers refer to as super affiliates, or gurus.

They make all the money.

They steal all those potassium rich yummy yellow naners.

Yummmmyyyyyyy!

But one fact remains!

No one messes with Kong!

No-One!

Damn you Kong!

Sound familiar marketers?

Don’t know how to compete with the King Kongs Of the internet marketing World.

Here is a top secret King Kong classified marketing tip.

You have to promote high ticket products.

Enter the king silverback of the marketing world.

He’s 1/2 ape 1/2 man and is the silverback of the marketing World.

Want to learn how to go skull island on that ass?

Well, let this silverback marketer show you how to get all the bananas.

Find out here.

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/facebook-fanpage-training/

P.S. Grab a pen and some paper and a juicy ripe banana to munch on before they capture you and make you reveal your secrets.

P.S. You Will Go Donkey Kong on that ass after this training.

Jay

A.K.A.

The funny marketer out:)

king kong marketing

 

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Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing

Marketer Attacked By Ferocious Jurassic Sized Bumblebee

15 rounds fight human verse bumblebee.

Human Verse Bumblebee Fight To The Death.

 

I was mowing my grass one sunny summer day.

When a quarter sized bumblebee starting buzzing my way.

Then the unthinkable happened.

That damn big yellow and black furry bee started dive bombing my dome.

He meant serious business.

So I did what any crazy maniac would do.

I started throwing hay makers at mr. bee.

I yelled at the bumblebee.

You want to throw down Mr. bee?

Whats up?

Heck, I am not getting stung for noone!

I landed one haymaker, that I put everything into, and the bumble bee dropped out of the sky.

This bumblebee dropped just like the M.O.A.B. on that damn terrorist tunnel.

That is what you get Mr.bee I yelled.

I walked away feeling like the undisputed U.F.C. champion of the World.

How you like me now mr. bumblebee?

Problem solved:)

Anyhow,

This bumblebee reminds me of most internet marketers.

Trying to attack everything in there business themselves.

Without trying to learn from someone who has walked the walk, and talked the talk.

Feel me?

I was this big walking dummy for a long time.

Ever see a drunk zombie?

Yeah that was me.

Arrrrggghhhhhhhh.

Until i invested in a course like a real g.

After all comrades.

The more you learn.

The more you earn.

Playas and playetttes.

Start learning and earning here:

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/commission-machine-michael-cheney/

P.S. Don’t be that dumb ass bumblebee and get knocked out by the competition.

Disclaimer: I was not drinking while creating the content of this email:)

TTYL

Jay

A.K.A.

The funny ass marketer.

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