Category : Funny Marketing

Funny Marketing

Chimpanzee Rips Marketer Limb From Limb @ Steals His Rolex

Thump, Thud, Violent Jumping, Biting limbs, kicking, Proceeded By Piercing Screams From This Wealthy Marketer.

This crazy chimp was going bananas ripping him limb from limb!

The chimps eyes had this fixed look of pure evil that only comes straight from the depths of hell.

All that was left was a diamond encrusted rolex that sparkled in the summer sun.

The crazy chimp, let out a loud shrieking scream, and proceeded to rip the rolex off of his lifeless, dangling arm.

Poor, poor, marketer!

He never stood a chance!

His lifeless body would wilt away in that hot african summer sun.

Thousands of flies, and vultures would deliver his carcass back to mother Earth.

This dimented chimp would later pawn that same rolex for his troubles.

But, why would this chimp go bananas on this wealthy affiliate marketer?

It’s Simple Really, and reminds me of what the gurus been doing all along.

Lying through there teeth.

Telling you to chase the $20 small ticket highly competitive affiliate products.

Only leaving you with a tiny bite of that tasty king sized banana.

While the guru’s sell the juicy high ticket products, and enjoy bundles of the best bananas money can buy.

This is why that chimp flipped his lid, and ripped this rich marketer to shreds.

Lies, lies, and more lies.

But not anymore, my apelike friend.

Be smart, go after the premium chiquita bananas.

Say no to lies.

Say yes to high ticket commissions.

Earn $1,000 commissions on every backend sale generated, and the keys to this marketers $1.1 million dollar business.

He is giving you the keys to all the bananas in his kingdom.

All you have to do is accept and enter.

Cesar would be proud!

Learn how here;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/7-figure-franchise/

It’s time for you to get all that healthy potassium or a.k.a. high ticket commissions in your diet my marketing friends.

 

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Depressed Leprachaun Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing Leprachaun Finds Shillings Uncategorized

Depressed Leprachaun Flips On The Happy Marketing Switch

leprachaun marketing gold

[ warning no prozoac required ]

This little newbie leprachaun marketer.

Had been suffering with depression for years.

Not matter what good things happened to him.

He never seemed to be happy.

The glass was always half empty.

{ In his little irish Leprachaun eyes }

That irish frown was always upside down.

For this poor little unhappy Leprachaun clown.

( Perhaps you know someone like this )

He was seriously considering the prozoac route.

Until he discovered Michael Cheneys and his training.

Although this little leprachaun was sad, he was also ambitious.

What he discovered inside Michael Cheneys training sent shivers down his spine.

The gold chillings eventually came flooding in…

The rainbow set in full color over his house.

His frown eventually turned upside down.

He was doing the leprachaun shuffle.

He even did the irish version of the macerana:)

He was happy once again.

So, what made this little sad leprachaun happy again?

Find out here and get your shillalys

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/commission-machine-michael-cheney/

See you on the other side of the rainbow.

Brought to you by the brains at: http://jaysonlinereviews.com

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Funny Marketing Web Traffic Software

Watch Your Fanpages Explode Like The M.O.A.B On A Terrorist Tunnel While Sipping Mai Thais.

Watch Your Fanpages Explode Like The M.O.A.B On A Terrorist Tunnel While Sipping Mai Thais.
 
Summer is here my friends.
 
Who wants to spend these warm summer days.
 
Adding Facebook fans manually:(
 
Boring, and time consuming.
 
We have better things to do in these summer months.
 
Beaches, barbecues, drinking fruity cold alcoholic beverages:)
 
WOOHOO ……
 
And just enjoying being outdoors.
 
So,
 
With that being said:)
 
I have a cure.
 
For your social media blues.
 
Work smarter than Einstein.
 
Not harder than an Alaskan crab fisherman.
 
This is smart.
 
It is.
 
100% Autopilot Software.
 
Setup to go in 2 minutes – Newbie Ready!
 
 
Guaranteed 100% Real Targeted Fans For YOU
 
 
AUTO Posts UNLIMITED Content to Fanpages – Text, Images, Links and Videos!
 
 
Works for Fanpages in ANY NICHE. Hands-Free!
 
 
Massive Time Saver + Beta Tester Approved.
 
Put Your Fanpages on Complete AUTOPILOT &
Start Adding Unlimited 100% REAL,
Targeted FANS to Any Fanpage
 
See how
 
Here;
 
 
Sit Back Relax @ Put Your Fanpage On Complete Autopilot While You Sip those tasty cold mai thais:)
 
ttyl
 
Jay
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Email Marketing Funny Marketing Linkedin Marketing Linkedin Meets Good Will Hunting

Linkedin Meets Good Will Hunting

I loved the movie Goodwill hunting it is a classic.

Matt Damon was definitely a troubled youth growing up.

A lost soul, but a genius at the same time.

He just needed the right guidance.

Robin Williams was that guidance for Matt.

Robin Williams played a shrink.

That released Matts inner demons, his potential, and on top of that he got the girl;)

“How you like dem apples.”

This is where the business networking giant Linkedin comes in.

How would you like to learn from the Matt Damon of Linkedin?

Yes, he is a genius when it comes to making money from Linkedin.

Like Matt Damons character in Good Will Hunting.

He’s gonna show you how to catapult your email lists, how to automize your Linkedin business, and make a ton of cash doing it.

You may not get the girl from this.

But your sure to get the money.

“How you like dem apples?”

See how

Here

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/linkedtify/

 

Jay

A.K.A.

The Funny Marketer.

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Funny Marketing Linkedin Marketing Listbuilding

Linkedin Suite Of Tools Is More Powerful Than A 500 LB Silverback Gorilla Flipping An Suv ….

Linkedin Suite Of Tools Is More Powerful Than A 500 LB Silverback Gorilla Flipping An Suv ….

Gorillas are big and hairy and there strength can be very scary:)

Yep, if you get one p-off Silverback he can flip an suv with no problem.

And if you have bananas in that SUV

Forget about it:)

Your going airbourne my friend.

Which brings me to my next point.

What is more impressive then that Silverback flipping that SUV with his giant black hairy ape hands?

Well, this Linkedin suite of tool, and training from a real Linkedin silverback.

He’s literally overpowering his competition.

My buddy has perfected Linkedin free advertising for lead generation.

He is the Albert Einstein of Linkedin.

He is the Picasso of Linkedin lead generation.

He is generating more leads than Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Get it?

Yeah bad jokes;)

So,

Did you know that.

Linkedin users average 6 figures plus per year.

That is some serious dough.

Anyhow.

This is stupid cool.

Check it out here my furry friend.

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/linkedtify/

I know you will think this is really useful, and cool.

ttyl

Jay

A.K.A

The Funny Marketer.

 

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7 Figure Franchise Biz Opp Email Marketing Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing High Commission Paypal High Commissions Michael Cheney

Cheneys Rapping In A Commission Rainstorm

Michael Cheney Rap

Michael Cheney Rap

Warning: Michael Cheney uses supersized umbrella and raps for commission rainstorm.

[ Umbrella needed to continue reading ]

It’s true it’s raining commissions all over the place.

His umbrella pops up so he doesn’t get commissions on his face.

Those commissions are shooting from the sky and pouring down hard.

This super affiliate sure knows how to play his marketing cards.

With a $1,000 commission here.

And a $1,000 commission there.

It’s raining money everywhere.

Cheneys like Santa with his big red sack.

Giving out commissions he’s got your back.

Have you been good this year big boy or girl?

Cheneys got something that will make your head twirl.

High ticket commissions is where its at.

Cock your head sideways, and tilt your hat.

With 100% commissions you’ll be purring along.

Enter World class training you cant go wrong.

It simply is a logical choice.

Your going to think this is awesome, so raise your voice.

So,

If you think this rap stinks

Make me shut up and click that link:

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/7-figure-franchise/

Word!

P.S. Eminem eat your heart out.

TTYL

Jay

A.K.A.

The Funny Marketer.

Cheneys Rapping In A Commission Rainstorm

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7 Figure Franchise Biz Opp Email Marketing Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing High Commission Paypal High Commissions

Marketer Snagged And Eaten Alive By Giant Crocodile

giant saltwater Crocodile

giant saltwater Crocodile

Story Begins…

He was sitting on the banks of the Mary river in Darwin, Australia.

Stroking his keys on his Apple laptop.

Trying to sell $10.00 low ticket affiliate products.

Mistake numero uno.

The marketer logged into his JVZoo affiliate account and shockingly seen another triple zero day.

Oh no! Not again he shouted!

He then proceeded to put his head face down on his laptop in despair.

When out of the blue a giant 16 foot salty grabbed him and pulled him under and did the dreaded deathroll on the poor marketer.

He did not stand a chance!

All that was left was his Apple laptop which popped to the surface shorting out from the murky saltwater.

Mistake number 2.

Not paying attention to your surroundings!

[ warning: This is fiction but this happens everyday in the internet marketing World. ]

It’s true, this is what it’s like with the little guy in the Marketing World.

When the little guy in the internet marketing World is attacked by the giant saltwater super affiliate;)

There is nothing left but that shorted out, non working laptop, bouncing on the surface of that murky saltwater with blood droplets engrained in the keyboard.

So, how do you as the little guy even the playing field?

Well, I will tell you my croc fearing friend.

You have to go for the big moolah.

With your high ticket $1,000 instant Paypal commissions.

With your World class affiliate marketing training taught by a 7 figure super affiliate.

With your 100% commissions across a slew of best selling affiliate products.

Curious now ???

See how here:

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/7-figure-franchise/

P.S. no marketer were hurt during the creation of this email.

Jay

A.K.A. The Funny Marketer.

 

Giant saltwater crocodile eats internet marketer.

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7 Figure Franchise Email Marketing Funny Marketing High Commission Paypal High Commissions

$1,000 MMMMMM MMMMM Good Instant High Ticket Paypal Commissions.

High Commission Delicious Commissions. Even the doggy likes it

$1,000 MMMMMM MMMMM Good High Ticket Instant Paypal Commissions.

The story begins….

Remember when you were a kid and you had the delicious bowl of Campbells soup staring at you?

The heat just radiating off your face.

Just calling out to you eat me,eat me, i am so delicious…

I am even good for your ticker.

I go well with crackers.

It calls out to you.

c’mon you know you want it.

Just teasing you.

Until you just cant take it no more and you dive in spoon in hand slurping that delicious red substance like a rottweiler on a waterdish outside on a 100 degree day.

man, that was a great experience.

remember that?

Well, how would you like to get the warm, fuzzy, fulfilled feeling again as an adult?

$1,000 instant commissions, world class internet marketing training taught by a 7 figure marketer, 100% commissions on every product this 7 figure marketer has ever created, and so much more!

Sounds mmmmm mmmmm good to me.

Come get your delicious commissions on the link below.

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/7-figure-franchise/

 

Even this Cougar thinks these high ticket commissions are delicious

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Email Marketing Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing Listbuilding Uncategorized

Listbuilding Is Like Legos Even A Child Can Build It.

Learn how to build a big profitable email list.

Remember those fun little lego blocks that you used to put together as a child?

They fascinated you.

They intrigued you.

“You thought”

If I build it they will come.

Thinking field of dreams.

Your little child imagination just ran Wild.

Then you finally accomplished building that big skyscraper sears tower type block of legos.

You felt like Leonardo Dicaprio in Titanic.

You my friend were the king of the World.

You were prouder than a money hungry daddy who’s daughter just married the prince of Brunei.

Cha ching!

I finally did it.

How would you like that feeling again as an adult?

They say the money is in the list.

You are so hungry for that money that you can taste it.

Want that moolah?

Well,

If you want that yummy taste.

Then.

You have to learn from a top marketer who makes enough dough to pay for a small car everytime he hits send.

Learn how to build a big profitable list from someone who made over a million smackeroonies just last year alone by sending silly little emails.

There is a famous “quote”.

Learn from the best to be the best.

My friend.

“Give a man a fish he will eat for the day, But teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.”

Want to build your lego empire?

Watch your list, your money, and your lego empire build up on the link below.

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/email-black-opps/

To Your Success

Jay

A.K.A. The funny marketer.

how to build an email list.

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Biz Opp Funny Marketing Illinois Lottery Michigan Lottery

Michigan Illinois Lottery This Biz Opp Has Them All Beat

Michigan Illinois Lottery Pics

 

If you are playing the Michigan or the Illinois lottery and you are planning on striking it rich.

Good luck with that!

Chances are 1 in almost 300 million that you will be doing cartwheels, and island hunting:)

But there still is that little tiny itsy bitsy chance, and people will not hesitate to throw there hard earned money down the toilet for that little chance.

Wait can you hear the flushing sound?

😉

These odds are better than you winning the Michigan or Illinois lottery.

Facts:

You have better odds killing a great white shark in 500 feet of water with your bare hands.

Or better yet how about choking out a lion in the African Savannah.

How about beating a cheetah in a foot race.

Yeah good luck with that too:)

You get my point!

How about investing in your future

This top entrepreneur and businessman is giving away the keys to his $1.1 million dollar a year internet biz.

100% instant commissions on all his products, $1,000 instant Paypal commissions, A-Z training complete with HD videos that shows you step by step how to make money with affiliate marketing.

Affiliate marketing is promoting other peoples products or services online in exchange for a commission for you newbies reading this.

Stop relying on the Michigan and Illinois lottery to strike it rich.

Invest in yourself!

This has much, much, better odds of making you money.

This is funnymarketer.com endorsed.

Check it out below.

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/7-figure-franchise/

TTYL

Jay

Aka The Funny Marketer.

 

Michigan Illinois Lottery Pics

Click here for much better odds than the michigan illinois lottery

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