Category : Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails

Depressed Leprachaun Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing Leprachaun Finds Shillings Uncategorized

Depressed Leprachaun Flips On The Happy Marketing Switch

leprachaun marketing gold

[ warning no prozoac required ]

This little newbie leprachaun marketer.

Had been suffering with depression for years.

Not matter what good things happened to him.

He never seemed to be happy.

The glass was always half empty.

{ In his little irish Leprachaun eyes }

That irish frown was always upside down.

For this poor little unhappy Leprachaun clown.

( Perhaps you know someone like this )

He was seriously considering the prozoac route.

Until he discovered Michael Cheneys and his training.

Although this little leprachaun was sad, he was also ambitious.

What he discovered inside Michael Cheneys training sent shivers down his spine.

The gold chillings eventually came flooding in…

The rainbow set in full color over his house.

His frown eventually turned upside down.

He was doing the leprachaun shuffle.

He even did the irish version of the macerana:)

He was happy once again.

So, what made this little sad leprachaun happy again?

Find out here and get your shillalys

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/commission-machine-michael-cheney/

See you on the other side of the rainbow.

Brought to you by the brains at: http://jaysonlinereviews.com

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7 Figure Franchise Biz Opp Email Marketing Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing High Commission Paypal High Commissions Michael Cheney

Cheneys Rapping In A Commission Rainstorm

Michael Cheney Rap

Michael Cheney Rap

Warning: Michael Cheney uses supersized umbrella and raps for commission rainstorm.

[ Umbrella needed to continue reading ]

It’s true it’s raining commissions all over the place.

His umbrella pops up so he doesn’t get commissions on his face.

Those commissions are shooting from the sky and pouring down hard.

This super affiliate sure knows how to play his marketing cards.

With a $1,000 commission here.

And a $1,000 commission there.

It’s raining money everywhere.

Cheneys like Santa with his big red sack.

Giving out commissions he’s got your back.

Have you been good this year big boy or girl?

Cheneys got something that will make your head twirl.

High ticket commissions is where its at.

Cock your head sideways, and tilt your hat.

With 100% commissions you’ll be purring along.

Enter World class training you cant go wrong.

It simply is a logical choice.

Your going to think this is awesome, so raise your voice.

So,

If you think this rap stinks

Make me shut up and click that link:

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/7-figure-franchise/

Word!

P.S. Eminem eat your heart out.

TTYL

Jay

A.K.A.

The Funny Marketer.

Cheneys Rapping In A Commission Rainstorm

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7 Figure Franchise Biz Opp Email Marketing Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing High Commission Paypal High Commissions

Marketer Snagged And Eaten Alive By Giant Crocodile

giant saltwater Crocodile

giant saltwater Crocodile

Story Begins…

He was sitting on the banks of the Mary river in Darwin, Australia.

Stroking his keys on his Apple laptop.

Trying to sell $10.00 low ticket affiliate products.

Mistake numero uno.

The marketer logged into his JVZoo affiliate account and shockingly seen another triple zero day.

Oh no! Not again he shouted!

He then proceeded to put his head face down on his laptop in despair.

When out of the blue a giant 16 foot salty grabbed him and pulled him under and did the dreaded deathroll on the poor marketer.

He did not stand a chance!

All that was left was his Apple laptop which popped to the surface shorting out from the murky saltwater.

Mistake number 2.

Not paying attention to your surroundings!

[ warning: This is fiction but this happens everyday in the internet marketing World. ]

It’s true, this is what it’s like with the little guy in the Marketing World.

When the little guy in the internet marketing World is attacked by the giant saltwater super affiliate;)

There is nothing left but that shorted out, non working laptop, bouncing on the surface of that murky saltwater with blood droplets engrained in the keyboard.

So, how do you as the little guy even the playing field?

Well, I will tell you my croc fearing friend.

You have to go for the big moolah.

With your high ticket $1,000 instant Paypal commissions.

With your World class affiliate marketing training taught by a 7 figure super affiliate.

With your 100% commissions across a slew of best selling affiliate products.

Curious now ???

See how here:

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/7-figure-franchise/

P.S. no marketer were hurt during the creation of this email.

Jay

A.K.A. The Funny Marketer.

 

Giant saltwater crocodile eats internet marketer.

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Email Marketing Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing Listbuilding Uncategorized

Listbuilding Is Like Legos Even A Child Can Build It.

Learn how to build a big profitable email list.

Remember those fun little lego blocks that you used to put together as a child?

They fascinated you.

They intrigued you.

“You thought”

If I build it they will come.

Thinking field of dreams.

Your little child imagination just ran Wild.

Then you finally accomplished building that big skyscraper sears tower type block of legos.

You felt like Leonardo Dicaprio in Titanic.

You my friend were the king of the World.

You were prouder than a money hungry daddy who’s daughter just married the prince of Brunei.

Cha ching!

I finally did it.

How would you like that feeling again as an adult?

They say the money is in the list.

You are so hungry for that money that you can taste it.

Want that moolah?

Well,

If you want that yummy taste.

Then.

You have to learn from a top marketer who makes enough dough to pay for a small car everytime he hits send.

Learn how to build a big profitable list from someone who made over a million smackeroonies just last year alone by sending silly little emails.

There is a famous “quote”.

Learn from the best to be the best.

My friend.

“Give a man a fish he will eat for the day, But teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.”

Want to build your lego empire?

Watch your list, your money, and your lego empire build up on the link below.

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/email-black-opps/

To Your Success

Jay

A.K.A. The funny marketer.

how to build an email list.

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Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing This Pays Entrepreneurs Bigger Than Trump + Cuban Combined

This Pays Entrepreneurs Bigger Than Trump + Cuban Combined

Here a Trump.

There a Trump.

Everywhere a Trump, Trump.

Money Here.

Money There.

Money dancing everywhere.

Cha cha cha…

Mark Cuban hates your political views.

But you don’t care!

You want to give him a giant wedgie pulling his underwear.

Cha cha cha…

Put you both together.

What do we have?

A giant bag of moolah that can sing and dance.

Who has more money?

Trump or Cuban?

Well it’s all the same.

I think Mark Cuban does because he don’t play no games.

President Trump would beg to differ.

He says his entrepreneurial games stiffer.

Cha Cha Cha…..

Ok enough rhyming:)

What do these two well known billionaire entrepreneurs have in common?

Well they know how to make tons of cash.

And….

Drumroll please….

They recognize a great business opportunity when they see it.

Mark Cubans a shark in real life and on t.v.

Trumps a shark as the p.o.t.u.s. and as a serial entrepreneur.

I’ve literally seen Trumps shark fin point out the back of his suit behind his neck:)

In all seriousness, hes not a real shark people.

This isn’t Jaws for the love of all that is holy and good….

These two genius marketers are not scaaaaarrrrrrdddd

To Take Calculated Risks.

Risks that can make them much more money then they spend in the longrun.

Cuban + Trump invest in themselves.

And you can do the same.

Want to invest in yourself?

Make Your Name Goes Here Great Again?

Well good amigo.

Ok back to rhyming:)

Here comes the real Jay shady.

Telling it like it is.

Listen to him if you want to have a profitable biz.

Enter a 7 figure marketer.

Who can teach you the same.

You definitely need this to improve your money game.

Selling high ticket this is where its at.

If you don’t see my point, I hope you get attacked by a big ass cat.

This 7 figure marketer can teach you to make your bank account sing.

$1,000 commissions will make the cash registers ring.

The keys to his $1.1 million dollar business.

Will make you do the money dance.

Now click that link below Mr. fancy pants.

Click here:

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/7-figure-franchise/

LA La La La La…..

I hope you enjoyed my rhyme.

I will see you next time.

Jay

A.K.A

The Funny Marketer.

This Pays Entrepreneurs Bigger Than Trump + Cuban Combined

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Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing King Kong Beats Stupid Marketers With Jurassic Sized Bananas

King Kong Beats Stupid Marketers With Jurassic Sized Bananas

Wonder why they call that box office hit Kong skull island?

Those are human remains of deceased internet marketers.

Who ventured into hostile enemy territory.

Then got the king kong banana beatdown from the depths of hell.

That Jurassic sized Gorilla really layed the smackdown.

He hit the marketers so hard banana juice was pouring out of there orifices.

Ouch, ouch, ouch. and more ouch!

Kong is one powerful supersized ape that you do not want to piss off.

If you did you would get that old school gorilla beatdown that littered skull island with human carcasses.

Kong is that huge gorilla in the room marketers refer to as super affiliates, or gurus.

They make all the money.

They steal all those potassium rich yummy yellow naners.

Yummmmyyyyyyy!

But one fact remains!

No one messes with Kong!

No-One!

Damn you Kong!

Sound familiar marketers?

Don’t know how to compete with the King Kongs Of the internet marketing World.

Here is a top secret King Kong classified marketing tip.

You have to promote high ticket products.

Enter the king silverback of the marketing world.

He’s 1/2 ape 1/2 man and is the silverback of the marketing World.

Want to learn how to go skull island on that ass?

Well, let this silverback marketer show you how to get all the bananas.

Find out here.

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/facebook-fanpage-training/

P.S. Grab a pen and some paper and a juicy ripe banana to munch on before they capture you and make you reveal your secrets.

P.S. You Will Go Donkey Kong on that ass after this training.

Jay

A.K.A.

The funny marketer out:)

king kong marketing

 

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Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Web Traffic Software

This Software Gets More Free Traffic Than An L.A. Freeway In Rush Hour.

Beep, Beep, Beep, Get Out Of My Way…..

Honk, honk…

Crawling along.

Perspiration beaming off your dome.

Taking forever to get home.

Yep freeway traffic sucks.

But, if you are an internet marketer.

You embrace traffic.

You want to give it a big hug like that big purple dinosaur barney.

Singing I love you.

You love me.

Were a happy family.

So what kind of traffic will make you do that happy dance?

You may even bust out the old school macarena:)

Go here and see why you will be doing the happy dance:

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/auto-soci-pro/

Heeeeeey macerana.

TTYL

Jay

AKA

The funny marketer.

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Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing

Marketers Fists Verse Bumblebees Stinger Fight Ding Ding Ding ……..

15 rounds fight human verse bumblebee.

Human Verse Bumblebee Fight To The Death.

 

I was mowing my grass one sunny summer day.

When a quarter sized bumblebee starting buzzing my way.

Then the unthinkable happened.

That damn big yellow and black furry bee started dive bombing my dome.

He meant serious business.

So I did what any crazy maniac would do.

I started throwing hay makers at mr. bee.

I yelled at the bumblebee.

You want to throw down Mr. bee?

Whats up?

Heck, I am not getting stung for noone!

I landed one haymaker, that I put everything into, and the bumble bee dropped out of the sky.

This bumblebee dropped just like the M.O.A.B. on that damn terrorist tunnel.

That is what you get Mr.bee I yelled.

I walked away feeling like the undisputed U.F.C. champion of the World.

How you like me now mr. bumblebee?

Problem solved:)

Anyhow,

This bumblebee reminds me of most internet marketers.

Trying to attack everything in there business themselves.

Without trying to learn from someone who has walked the walk, and talked the talk.

Feel me?

I was this big walking dummy for a long time.

Ever see a drunk zombie?

Yeah that was me.

Arrrrggghhhhhhhh.

Until i invested in a course like a real g.

After all comrades.

The more you learn.

The more you earn.

Playas and playetttes.

Start learning and earning here:

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/commission-machine-michael-cheney/

P.S. Don’t be that dumb ass bumblebee and get knocked out by the competition.

Disclaimer: I was not drinking while creating the content of this email:)

TTYL

Jay

A.K.A.

The funny ass marketer.

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