Author Archives: jayorban2017

Ecommerce Ecommerce Store

Shocking Ecommerce Success Story ( Must Read )

I was listening to the smart passive income podcast hosted by Pat Flynn.

Check it out it is on tunein radio ( Some good stuff )

A lot of good tips for affiliate marketers and online entrepreneurs in general.

Anyways,

In one of his podcasts Pat had a guest.

That was pulling in 7 figures per year.

Dude was pulling in 6 figures after 6 months of starting his ecommerce store.

Wow!

Anyways,

He wasn’t the only success story that was shared in this particular podcast.

How did he do it as well as many others?

They started an e-commerce store

And built there foundation.

See how

Here;

Click Here For My Recommended Ecommerce Store Platform

To your future stores success.

Jay

 

 

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Funny Marketing

Chimpanzee Rips Marketer Limb From Limb @ Steals His Rolex

Thump, Thud, Violent Jumping, Biting limbs, kicking, Proceeded By Piercing Screams From This Wealthy Marketer.

This crazy chimp was going bananas ripping him limb from limb!

The chimps eyes had this fixed look of pure evil that only comes straight from the depths of hell.

All that was left was a diamond encrusted rolex that sparkled in the summer sun.

The crazy chimp, let out a loud shrieking scream, and proceeded to rip the rolex off of his lifeless, dangling arm.

Poor, poor, marketer!

He never stood a chance!

His lifeless body would wilt away in that hot african summer sun.

Thousands of flies, and vultures would deliver his carcass back to mother Earth.

This dimented chimp would later pawn that same rolex for his troubles.

But, why would this chimp go bananas on this wealthy affiliate marketer?

It’s Simple Really, and reminds me of what the gurus been doing all along.

Lying through there teeth.

Telling you to chase the $20 small ticket highly competitive affiliate products.

Only leaving you with a tiny bite of that tasty king sized banana.

While the guru’s sell the juicy high ticket products, and enjoy bundles of the best bananas money can buy.

This is why that chimp flipped his lid, and ripped this rich marketer to shreds.

Lies, lies, and more lies.

But not anymore, my apelike friend.

Be smart, go after the premium chiquita bananas.

Say no to lies.

Say yes to high ticket commissions.

Earn $1,000 commissions on every backend sale generated, and the keys to this marketers $1.1 million dollar business.

He is giving you the keys to all the bananas in his kingdom.

All you have to do is accept and enter.

Cesar would be proud!

Learn how here;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/7-figure-franchise/

It’s time for you to get all that healthy potassium or a.k.a. high ticket commissions in your diet my marketing friends.

 

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Seo Training

Become The Pablo Escobar Of Search Engine Optimization Narcos Anyone?

Let us chant Netflix, Netflix, Netflix….

I love Netflix and I love the series Narcos.

Quality entertainment at its best:)

Pablo Escobar love him or hate him was the man of the eighties!

Fear, money, corruption, killing, women, love, hate, and of course cocaine come to mind.

Pablo Escobar 

How catchy is that Narcos theme song anyways;)

Makes me feel like I am drinking a margarita on the beach

With an old eighties 80 pound cell phone glued to my ear:)

Bikini clad women anyone?

Yeah mamazita:)

Come to daddy.

Anyhow;

Fun fact: At one time in the eighties Pablo Escobar was bringing in more revenue than GM by himself.

Damn!!!!

That is some serious cabbage!

And this dude wasn’t even a gardner

Yeah bad joke I know lol

Anyhow;)

Lets flip the script this is a guy that does it all strictly by the book.

Everything is totally legal and on the up and up.

This guy is literally the pablo escobar of the SEO World.

He brings search engines to there knees.

Nope, he doesn’t do anything illegal he is strictly whitehat and on the up and up.

But people in the seo World respect him like Pablo.

Because he is the best in the biz and knows how to make money from seo.

See How To Be The king Of Seo Here;

Earn your respect, dignity, and money here:

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/marketer-seal/

Trust me this guy knows his stuff;)

If you want to dominate the first pages of the major search engines like a g then click that link above.

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7 Figure Franchise Rocket Man

Rocket Mans Secret Inter Continental Ballistic Profits Program

Rocket man Kim Jung Un

Lessons Learned:

Kim Jong Un is definitely a crazy s.o.b.

The man with the crazy hair p.o.t.u.s. dubbed him rocket man for a reason.

If Kim Jung Un was a dog he would be sporting a crazy red rocket, because he is so in love with his rocket program.

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1

Boing, boing, boing, and we have lift offfffff!

Sorry Elton didn’t mean to ruin your catchy classic hit song.

Rocket man threatens the U.S.A. and it’s allies with his beloved rockets on an almost weekly basis.

Grab your popcorn and peanuts boys and girls the rocket man is sure to put on a spectacular show.

north Korea rocket man

Lessons learned;

Don’t starve your people over dem damn dere rockets!

They are simply not worth it!

We all know rocket man is not starving.

I hear his favorite dance is the milkshake shuffle:)

Threats and fear is never a smart way to do business rocket man!

But what is worth it’s weight in rocket fuel, and all sanctions lifted on N.Korea to the N.Korean people?

Find out here;

But Only click if you like moolah;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/7-figure-franchise-webinar/

Rocket mans not smart enough to do it, but I know you can launch your own inter – continental ballistic profits program.

One that just puts money in your pockets, and doesn’t piss of the World in the process.

Verse stuck in head: Cause I think it’s gonna be a long, long, time…..

Rocket man out!

P.S. This email is designed to make you laugh out loud and help you to make more money with your online business.

North Korea nucleur threats

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Depressed Leprachaun Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing Leprachaun Finds Shillings Uncategorized

Depressed Leprachaun Flips On The Happy Marketing Switch

leprachaun marketing gold

[ warning no prozoac required ]

This little newbie leprachaun marketer.

Had been suffering with depression for years.

Not matter what good things happened to him.

He never seemed to be happy.

The glass was always half empty.

{ In his little irish Leprachaun eyes }

That irish frown was always upside down.

For this poor little unhappy Leprachaun clown.

( Perhaps you know someone like this )

He was seriously considering the prozoac route.

Until he discovered Michael Cheneys and his training.

Although this little leprachaun was sad, he was also ambitious.

What he discovered inside Michael Cheneys training sent shivers down his spine.

The gold chillings eventually came flooding in…

The rainbow set in full color over his house.

His frown eventually turned upside down.

He was doing the leprachaun shuffle.

He even did the irish version of the macerana:)

He was happy once again.

So, what made this little sad leprachaun happy again?

Find out here and get your shillalys

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/commission-machine-michael-cheney/

See you on the other side of the rainbow.

Brought to you by the brains at: http://jaysonlinereviews.com

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Funny Marketing Web Traffic Software

Watch Your Fanpages Explode Like The M.O.A.B On A Terrorist Tunnel While Sipping Mai Thais.

Watch Your Fanpages Explode Like The M.O.A.B On A Terrorist Tunnel While Sipping Mai Thais.
 
Summer is here my friends.
 
Who wants to spend these warm summer days.
 
Adding Facebook fans manually:(
 
Boring, and time consuming.
 
We have better things to do in these summer months.
 
Beaches, barbecues, drinking fruity cold alcoholic beverages:)
 
WOOHOO ……
 
And just enjoying being outdoors.
 
So,
 
With that being said:)
 
I have a cure.
 
For your social media blues.
 
Work smarter than Einstein.
 
Not harder than an Alaskan crab fisherman.
 
This is smart.
 
It is.
 
100% Autopilot Software.
 
Setup to go in 2 minutes – Newbie Ready!
 
 
Guaranteed 100% Real Targeted Fans For YOU
 
 
AUTO Posts UNLIMITED Content to Fanpages – Text, Images, Links and Videos!
 
 
Works for Fanpages in ANY NICHE. Hands-Free!
 
 
Massive Time Saver + Beta Tester Approved.
 
Put Your Fanpages on Complete AUTOPILOT &
Start Adding Unlimited 100% REAL,
Targeted FANS to Any Fanpage
 
See how
 
Here;
 
 
Sit Back Relax @ Put Your Fanpage On Complete Autopilot While You Sip those tasty cold mai thais:)
 
ttyl
 
Jay
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Email Marketing Funny Marketing Linkedin Marketing Linkedin Meets Good Will Hunting

Linkedin Meets Good Will Hunting

I loved the movie Goodwill hunting it is a classic.

Matt Damon was definitely a troubled youth growing up.

A lost soul, but a genius at the same time.

He just needed the right guidance.

Robin Williams was that guidance for Matt.

Robin Williams played a shrink.

That released Matts inner demons, his potential, and on top of that he got the girl;)

“How you like dem apples.”

This is where the business networking giant Linkedin comes in.

How would you like to learn from the Matt Damon of Linkedin?

Yes, he is a genius when it comes to making money from Linkedin.

Like Matt Damons character in Good Will Hunting.

He’s gonna show you how to catapult your email lists, how to automize your Linkedin business, and make a ton of cash doing it.

You may not get the girl from this.

But your sure to get the money.

“How you like dem apples?”

See how

Here

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/linkedtify/

 

Jay

A.K.A.

The Funny Marketer.

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Funny Marketing Linkedin Marketing Listbuilding

Linkedin Suite Of Tools Is More Powerful Than A 500 LB Silverback Gorilla Flipping An Suv ….

Linkedin Suite Of Tools Is More Powerful Than A 500 LB Silverback Gorilla Flipping An Suv ….

Gorillas are big and hairy and there strength can be very scary:)

Yep, if you get one p-off Silverback he can flip an suv with no problem.

And if you have bananas in that SUV

Forget about it:)

Your going airbourne my friend.

Which brings me to my next point.

What is more impressive then that Silverback flipping that SUV with his giant black hairy ape hands?

Well, this Linkedin suite of tool, and training from a real Linkedin silverback.

He’s literally overpowering his competition.

My buddy has perfected Linkedin free advertising for lead generation.

He is the Albert Einstein of Linkedin.

He is the Picasso of Linkedin lead generation.

He is generating more leads than Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Get it?

Yeah bad jokes;)

So,

Did you know that.

Linkedin users average 6 figures plus per year.

That is some serious dough.

Anyhow.

This is stupid cool.

Check it out here my furry friend.

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/linkedtify/

I know you will think this is really useful, and cool.

ttyl

Jay

A.K.A

The Funny Marketer.

 

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7 Figure Franchise Biz Opp Email Marketing Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing High Commission Paypal High Commissions Michael Cheney

Cheneys Rapping In A Commission Rainstorm

Michael Cheney Rap

Michael Cheney Rap

Warning: Michael Cheney uses supersized umbrella and raps for commission rainstorm.

[ Umbrella needed to continue reading ]

It’s true it’s raining commissions all over the place.

His umbrella pops up so he doesn’t get commissions on his face.

Those commissions are shooting from the sky and pouring down hard.

This super affiliate sure knows how to play his marketing cards.

With a $1,000 commission here.

And a $1,000 commission there.

It’s raining money everywhere.

Cheneys like Santa with his big red sack.

Giving out commissions he’s got your back.

Have you been good this year big boy or girl?

Cheneys got something that will make your head twirl.

High ticket commissions is where its at.

Cock your head sideways, and tilt your hat.

With 100% commissions you’ll be purring along.

Enter World class training you cant go wrong.

It simply is a logical choice.

Your going to think this is awesome, so raise your voice.

So,

If you think this rap stinks

Make me shut up and click that link:

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/7-figure-franchise/

Word!

P.S. Eminem eat your heart out.

TTYL

Jay

A.K.A.

The Funny Marketer.

Cheneys Rapping In A Commission Rainstorm

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7 Figure Franchise Biz Opp Email Marketing Funny Affiliate Marketing Emails Funny Marketing High Commission Paypal High Commissions

Marketer Snagged And Eaten Alive By Giant Crocodile

giant saltwater Crocodile

giant saltwater Crocodile

Story Begins…

He was sitting on the banks of the Mary river in Darwin, Australia.

Stroking his keys on his Apple laptop.

Trying to sell $10.00 low ticket affiliate products.

Mistake numero uno.

The marketer logged into his JVZoo affiliate account and shockingly seen another triple zero day.

Oh no! Not again he shouted!

He then proceeded to put his head face down on his laptop in despair.

When out of the blue a giant 16 foot salty grabbed him and pulled him under and did the dreaded deathroll on the poor marketer.

He did not stand a chance!

All that was left was his Apple laptop which popped to the surface shorting out from the murky saltwater.

Mistake number 2.

Not paying attention to your surroundings!

[ warning: This is fiction but this happens everyday in the internet marketing World. ]

It’s true, this is what it’s like with the little guy in the Marketing World.

When the little guy in the internet marketing World is attacked by the giant saltwater super affiliate;)

There is nothing left but that shorted out, non working laptop, bouncing on the surface of that murky saltwater with blood droplets engrained in the keyboard.

So, how do you as the little guy even the playing field?

Well, I will tell you my croc fearing friend.

You have to go for the big moolah.

With your high ticket $1,000 instant Paypal commissions.

With your World class affiliate marketing training taught by a 7 figure super affiliate.

With your 100% commissions across a slew of best selling affiliate products.

Curious now ???

See how here:

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/7-figure-franchise/

P.S. no marketer were hurt during the creation of this email.

Jay

A.K.A. The Funny Marketer.

 

Giant saltwater crocodile eats internet marketer.

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