Author Archives: jayorban2017

Hostpapa Easter Webhosting Sales

Hippoty Hoppity Webhosting For A Buck Easter Sale Carrot Not Included

What is big, has a beer belly, and hops around your house?

No, not your dad playing Easter bunny when you were a wee lad and hiding those colorful Easter eggs.

Hostpapa is offering an Easter sale and I wanted you to be the first to know about it.

Because you are my favorite Rabbit.

And….

I can save you some money so you have more to spend on Easter eggs and those delicious peeps.

OOOOHHHH!

Yummmyyy!

Here are the details my holiday friends.

During this webhosting Easter sale:

Starter and Business Optimized WordPress plans will cost $1/month


Starter and Business Shared Hosting plans will cost $1/month


Wowsers!


That deal is better than all you can drink carrot juice at an Easter bunny convention.


Hop on over as fast as you can bugs bunny on over to this link and get your new blog or website setup while the prices are this low.

This is a cheapskates dream.

Here;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/hostpapa-new/

Happy Holidays

The funny marketer

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8k Subscribers In A Few Months! Interested?

8k Subscribers In A Few Months! Interested?

Warning: Without traffic your business will be deader than the star of weekend at Bernies da da da daaah Bernie himself.

That Bernies a real stiff.

But, lucky for you.

Drum roll pleaseeee!

These 2 very smart marketers are slicker than a 50’s greasers hair.

Minus the cool leather Jackets and 427 hp muscle cars of course.

They cracked the code on free traffic + listbuilding.

And they agreed to share with your beautiful self.

How they were able to get 8k red hot leads in just a few short months.

We are talking Cindy Crawford heyday hot leads here men.

And for you ladies out there sprinkle in a little George Clooney and a hint of some Brad Pitt for your viewing pleasure.

How you like dem apples?

And like I said all it took was a few short months.

That is shorter than a Leprachaun standing next to Shaquille Oneal at a Celtics game.

And you my friend to the end are going to get step by step access.

Not the 90’s classic hit by New Kids on the Block step by step.

God I hated that song.

No sireeeeeee….

Screw the whole new kids on the block clan.

They were the founding fathers of the boy bands everywhere epidemic.

Phew, thank god that is over.

Praise the lord and hallelulah.

Anyhow,

Back to my story.

See how these 2 email lead generation geniuses were able to generate more traffic than a Kardashian special in just a few short months.

All step by step.

Screw you New Kids.

Find out.

Here;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/traffic-outbreak/

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Uncategorized

Kardashian Booty Clap Sends 8,000 Leads @ Traffic Galore

Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian shake there bon bons to the tune of billions as the most famous reality stars to do absolutely nothing of value.

Right, Right?

Can I get an Amen?

But, love them or hate them.

These dames know how to generate cash like the federal reserve bank.

Heck,

Kylie Jenner

Yep, still a Kardashian.

Anyhow, Kylie was the youngest person labeled a self made billionaire at the tender age of just 21 years old.

Thanks in big part to her makeup line.

S.M.H.

Must be nice.

Anyhow, these Kardashian women really know how to make some serious cabbage.

They know how to get eyeballs on there show and there bon bons for that matter.

As in any online business.

Eyeballs equals traffic which in turn equals sales.

Heck, just ask the Kardashian sisters they have turned traffic into an art form, and have the bank statements to prove it.

Want to know another secret to make Kardashian coin?

A big email list.

Even bigger than a Kardashian booty.

Now, that’s big!

Learn how.

One Couple Added Over 8,000 New Email Subscribers IN JUST 4 MONTHS!

Click the pretty link below and turn into your own reality star.

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/traffic-outbreak/

!

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Uncategorized

Lazy Affiliates Wet Dream Shaaakke This Money Tree

Screw Building Websites, Writing Content, And The 1,001 Other Time Sucking Soul Crushing Things Affiliates Do That Don’t Make Diddly Squat.


Let me ask you a question more serious than a heart attack.


Are you spending a lot of your hard earned time and not making one dime?


Well wipe those teary peepers my child.


This problem solver has more answers than Alex Trebek.


Ya know the Jeopardy dude.


This makes more money than the shark tank cast.


Now, that’s a lot of dough.


Suck it Cuban.


This is for you lazy ass affiliates.


Even if your not lazy just super smart this has your name plastered all over it as well. 


No website needed.


Beginner friendly. 


Stupid simple to use and apply.


Just like your favorite deodorant.


That was a joke!


Anyhow,


Build your list on autopilot.


Ya know like one of those Tesla sweet rides that drives on autopilot.


This is scalable.


Not like the Dawn Wall which is not.


Great movie btw Netflix check it out.


Sidetracked.


Anyhow,


Seriously an Orangutan can learn how to cash in with this.


Stupid simple @ don’t worry no bananas needed.


Anyhow;


Feast your gorgeous eyes on this video by clicking that pretty link below.


Yeah, that is how you are going to see how Einstein:)


http://affiliatefunnelclones.com/bonus/jayorban

P.S. I threw in like 17 bonuses to sweeten the pot like Winnie the pooh tearing up some grade A hoonnneyyy.


Take action soldier.


March on.


Hoooohaaaawwww!


TTYL

The Funny Marketer

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Joe Rogan - Joey Diaz - Tom Segura = Hooker Stories, Mysterious Shit Stories, And Belly Aching Laughs.

Joe Rogan – Joey Diaz – Tom Segura = Hooker Stories, Mysterious Shit Stories, And Belly Aching Laughs.

This is one of my favorite Joe Rogan podcasts of all time because Joey Diaz is on a roll, as Tom Segura said “dude I need a break.”

“You almost hospitalized me once” to Joey Diaz.

When Joey Diaz was telling one of the funny stories of many in this hilarious podcast that is fitting for the funny marketer.

I do not know what Joey Diaz was on but he was funny as hell in this podcast his stories were belly aching funny as I am sure Joe Rogan @ Tom Segura would agree with my Einsteinesque analogy.

So, sit back relax smoke a fatty, drink a 40, or whatever else rocks your precious ship.

Hell, drink some water if you want you lame ass mofo.

Anyhow, sucka my minca ….

Did I spell that right?

Shit, who knows I do not speak Italian!

But sucka my minca anyways bitches.

Enjoy the best of my favorite podcast the Joe Rogan experience.

The funny marketer out!

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Forrest Gump And Making Money Online Forrest Gump+Shrimping+Making Money Online Funny Marketing Funny Marketing Story

Forrest Gump+Shrimping+Making Money Online

Runnnnn Forrest Runnnnnnnn!

When Jenny uttered those 3 magical words Forrests legs were like magical rocket ships that whisked him away faster than the speed of light.

“That boy sure could run”

Forrest sure did have some real magical legs.

But, what made Forrest so special besides his sprinting abilities was forests knack to seize opportunities when they presented themselves.

For instance.

Remember, when Forrest Gump started that shrimping business with Lieutenant Dan.

When all those other shrimping boats sank when that storm of the century came roaring through.

Forrests SS Jenny was the only shrimping boat left standing undamaged when the whole shrimping fleet was left utterly decommissioned.

So, needless to say Forrest and Lieutenant Dan caught all those tasty shrimp and made all that tasty money in the process.

Then Lieutenant Dan the no legged first mate invested all that shrimping money into a little company called Apple.

Perhaps you have heard of it.

Wink!

Forrest and Lieutenant Dan both made a boatload of money.

Then lieutenant Dan bought himself some new magical titanium legs @ even got married in the process.

Yep, Lieutenant Dan got his new legs and all was good in the World.

Forrest Gump is one of my favorite movies on the planet.

Forrest Gump is a classic movie with a lot of life lessons inside the movie that you can learn from.

So, where am I going with this Forrest Gump story.

My point is you should seize opportunities when they present themselves.

Just like Forrest Gump was able to do if you want to learn how to make money online as an affiliate marketer.

Seize the shrimp boat + Apple stocks like Forrest did.

Forrest wasn’t a very smart man but he knew what money waaaasssss!

Anyhooo.

That Apple stock is your bonified self made millionaire teacher Michael Cheney.

That shrimping boat well that is going to take you to your destination when it is sailing by a little cours called the Gold Rush.

Seize the opportunity like Forrest so smartly did.

Run over and grab your piece of the Gold Rush just like Forrest did.

Here;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/michael-cheney-gold-rush/

Be your own ping pong star, shrimping boat captain, college football star, and the bazillion other things this mentally challenged movie man was able to accomplish with his life.

P.S. Remember to tuck that lip in Bubba if you go out and do everything on your own.

That wouldn’t be very smart.

That trip wire might detonate.

Happy travels.

Jay

A.K.A. the funny marketer.

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Playboy Fabio Hunk Makes Her Scream OMG

Playboy Fabio Hunk Makes Her Scream OMG While Creating An Online ATM Machine

The Man Was All Twisted Steel And Sex Appeal.

Chiseled and shredded to the bone.

His long blonde hair flowed in the wind like he was running through Chicago in the middle of a twister.

His bronzed skin glowed like he had just participated in an all night sex party.

Oh, he had it all!

The looks, and the body that made the men shutter with envy @ the women swoon with lustful fantasies of this modern day Fabio Hunk.

Oh my gawddddd it’s him!!!

These thirsty females would scream like teen girls that just entered a Justin Bieber concert.

It was sickening to say the least.

This man got more ass than a toilet seat at an Ebola clinic in sub saharan Africa.

But,

There was one thing that this modern day hunk did not have and that was money of his own.

You know.

Moolah, dinero, cheddar, benjamins, dead presidents, green, whatever the hell you assholes want to call it.

This man was money retarded.

Yep,

His handsome face was plastered to the window of the short bus with his tongue licking the busses dirty window when it came to making money.

Yes, he could make the ladies swoon!

But, he couldn’t pay his damn cable bill to save his life.

Sure, he could sell himself to the highest bidder.

But, he was more than just a piece of tasty meat that all the women just wanted to gobble up like a great white shark on a chubby ass seal.

Much more!

He desperately wanted more cash;

He was willing to learn;

He hungered with everything in his sexy body to learn;

His ripped muscles quivered at the pure thought of knowledge;

One of his many girlfriends who had to pay for him wherever they went was quoted as saying.

“Like OMG”! You are so hot!

Just like Fabio, but the real Fabio has money, and your broker than a one legged whino on a street corner.

Bobbing her head back as her double D’S bounced up and down like a circus freak on a trampoline.

I’m not your sugar mamma Fabio!

You really need to get your act together and start making some real money!

She screamed!

That was the last straw in his handsome hat!

He would show her!

He would show all of them!

He was more than just a handsome face and a perfect ripped body!

He heard about people making money online!

Hell, if they can do it!

So, can I!

Muhahahaaaaaa!

He stumbled upon a chap from the U.K named Michael who was going to teach this handsome fella how the art of making money is done.

Fabio wannabe came.

Fabio wanna be saw.

Fabio wannabe started making money online.

And the rest is history!

With this;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/michael-cheney-gold-rush/

Now he really has it all the looks, the ripped body, the ladies, and last but not least the money!

Doesn’t this just make you sick!

The funny marketer out!

Stay handsome peeps!

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Uncategorized

Affiliate Marketing The Final Golden Frontier …

Gold The Wild Wests Oldest Frontier.

These are the voyages of Cheneys Gold Rush enterprise.

It’s ongoing mission.

To explore strange new goldmines.

To seek out new entrepreneurs, and help them make money online.

To boldly tell what no marketer has ever told before.

Click here Picard.

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/michael-cheney-gold-rush/

Number #1 would be proud.

This message is commander data approved.

Dooohhhhh Dooohhhhhh

Beam me to the Gold Scotty!

Transporter activated captain.

Mission accomplished Scotty!

Jay Out

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Uncategorized

One Legged Midget Hillbilly Prospector Strikes Gold Instantly

Michael Cheney Rap

This is a story of a one legged midget named Ted.

The poor little guy barely kept his family fed.

Then one day he was limping over for some food.

And up through his computer shot a golden brood.

Online Gold that is Texas tea.

Now,

The next thing you know Teds a millionaire.

His little clan said Ted you can buy a leg just over there.

Little Ted said Michael Cheneys course is the place you all outta be.

You wont need no shovels to strike Gold and wont have to dress like a hillbilllyyyyyy!!!

So, the clan loaded up there truck and they all bought from Cheneyyyy

On dis link dat is.

Down yonder.

Right down there.

Click dat link and you wont have to move to Beverlyyyyy.

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/michael-cheney-gold-rush/

You all strike gold now ya hear?

This was Beverly hillbillies theme song inspired.

Click the link to get the real gold and I’ll stop singing in this email.

Promise.

TTYL

Happy prospecting.

Ted

A.K.A.Jay

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Uncategorized

Multi- Millionaire affiliate marketer is giving away his Purest gold

The Gold Rush Is ON Affiliates And The Bling, Bling Is Shinier Than A New Rolls Royce.

Want to learn from a multi-million dollar internet marketer?

Who has more bling than Jayzee, Lil Wayne, and Beyoncé combined.

Yep,

He has the gold bitches.

This man is the MR T of the affiliate marketing World.

What you talking about foooolllssss?

He has a neck full of shiny 24 karat gold that is giving him neck cramps.

And…

He needs to unload his Gold faster than an Amazon prime delivery.

The good news is….

You do not need any shovels, no digging permits,
and do not have to use one of those goofy metal detectors to locate his Gold.

Ever seen the movie Blood diamond?

Yeah, that didn’t work out so well at the end for poor Leo.

Those rebels can and will shoot at ya for stealing there gold or diamonds as Leo so tragically found out.

But, this British chap won’t.

He is a peaceful giving man who doesn’t own a gun.

Only because he is from the U.K they don’t allow it.

But,

Drum roll pleaseeee!!!

He wants to show you how to get your greedy little hands on his bling, bling.

Want to learn from one of the best affiliates on the planet and get his golden money making secrets?

No shovel needed.

No mining permit needed.

What is needed: A smile, a computer, and internet connection.

Think you can handle that Cowboy?

Grab it here;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/michael-cheney-gold-rush/

Beep, beep!

Sorry my goofy metal detector just located gold on that link and its going bat shit crazy.

Happy mining

Jay

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Uncategorized

Joe Rogan Chokes Out Alex Jones As Alex Screams Matte From The Classic Movie Bloodsport

Yep, Joe Rogan has finally had enough of the big babbling buffoon that calls himself Alex Jones ( Info Wars ) and bitch slaps him back to Texas, as he screams matte from the classic movie bloodsport.

Aint nothing but steers and queers in Texas Alex and you sure don’t have horns on your melon.

So, it kind of narrows it down don’t it!

Full metal Jacket quote for you non movie buffs.

Alex Jones the babbling overgrown white gorilla has been talking major shit about Joe Rogan saying he is in with the Rothschilds and has sponsorships with the cash app, which is owned by the ceo of Twitter Jack Dorsey.

Alex Jones even went as far as bringing up old Joe Rogan clips saying he is racist etc… Alex Jones has no limits, as the all you can eat buffets will vouch for.

Yep, who cares Alex! Joe Rogan has a family to feed, he can promote midget porn if he wants too no one cares!

Joe Rogan is not a babbling conspiracy theorist who spits out nonsense on a daily basis to his millions of knuckleheads who actually believe his bullshit.

Joe Rogan actually produces great content which is enjoyable to millions of fans of all ages and interests.

Not, retarded conspiracy theories that no-one with half a brain will believe.

Hell, there are even window lickers who are smart enough to know hey, this Alex Jones guy is crazier than Kim Jung Un!

Yep, I am team Rogan on this one!

Alex Jones is just using Joe Rogans fanbase to try and grow his business which has been devastated by a social media typhoon ban from YouTube , Twitter, Facebook, and all the other social media giants getting together and massively bitch slapping Alex Jones and his business back to the stone age.

Yabba dabba doo bitch!

Hows that for a conspiracy theory you got ram rodded by a 100 foot social media hog in the bootay with no lube.

Ouch, that must have really hurt!

Did Joe Rogan really submit Alex Jones?

Nope, but if keeps talking smack this may turn into real news only time will tell!

P.S. This is fake news btw eat your heart out CNN

But the content in this post is as real as a hear attack!

I know you are jealous CNN!

Fake news!

The funny marketer out!

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Uncategorized

Yo Mama, Yo Daddy, Yo Bald Headed Granny. Oh, No He Didn’t!

Yo Mama Don’t Dance And Your Daddy Don’t Rock N Roll But YO Bald Headed Granny Is Dancing Like A 20 Year Old Fillipino Break Dancer!

Want To Know Why?

I bet you do you nosey son of a gun you!

You see it is simple your mama don’t dance because well, she just can’t dance she sucks!

What did you expect something clever?

Ok, ok, you win here goes!

Yes, she is white and it is not right when it comes to shaking her tail feather!

If she is not white, and still can’t dance, well she still sucks!

I am equal opportunity dancer basher.

She is not taking her dancing talents to south beach like Lebron James did with the Miami Heat!

So she does not dance case closed!

Yo daddy cant rock n roll because the dude cant sing or swing his hips to save his life.

Unless you count that weird robot dance middle aged men do when they have had one too many Heinekens!

American idol or the voice no worries your safe from your daddies abomination of lackless talent.

See those big words I threw in there to make me look smart? Yeah those sucked too!

You know what does not suck?

Yo bald headed granny!

Yep,

she’s twisting, she’s grooving, she’s moving, she’s spinning, and by golly she is winning!

Why?

She discovered this affiliate marketing coaching that’s teaching her how to get lot’s of bingo money, and that dream Cadillac with those shiny rims she always wanted to pimp the streets of a neighborhood near you, and she’s putting the 20 year old fillipino break dancers to shame with her groovy moves!

See how here;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/ready-to-10x-your-affiliate-marketing-income-and-change-your-life-can-you-find-the-wizard-of-affiliate-oz/

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Uncategorized

The Worlds First Intelligent Designer @ Social Media Automation Software Is Here

Like Straight From A Future Stephen Spielberg Hot Selling Book And Future Film Where A.I. Rules Social Media!

Ever see all those cool quotes, posts, graphics, questions, banners, etc.. that tend to get so many shares and likes?

Yep, I do all the time!

Because they work!

But;

These marketers probably spend a lot of time and money creating this type of viral content.

What if you could automate this process?

Well know you can!

With this breakthrough A.I. software that works 24/7 for you.

Create;

Affiliate Graphics

Quotes:

Questions?

And much more!

Bringing you tons of traffic!

And you don’t have to sit on the computer all day getting a sore ass!

Who wants a sore ass anyways.

Direct your leads to your blog, affiliate offers, or whatever you want.

This A.I. wants to do all the stuff that you do not want to do 24/7.

Freeing up your time.

It will even get the virtual sore ass for you.

So, you can do what you want.

See how;

Here;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/pixamatic-pro/

I been on the computer too long my ass is sore.

Thankfully I hired this A.I. software as well.

Off to the gym:)

TTYL

Jay

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Uncategorized

A.I. Traffic Software Wants To Make You Money 24/7 With No Bathroom Breaks

Creates Social Media Graphics, Banner Ads, Facts, Quotes, Blog Titles, Questions, Around The Clock.

The best part is once you hire this breakthrough A.I. system to work for you.

It works for you for free 24/7 for life.

No bathroom breaks, no cigarette breaks, no lunch.

Yep, North Korean slave labor basically.

But, who cares it is not human:)

A.I. does not care about any of that petty human stuff!

A.I. just cares about making your business money.

And that is how it should be.

This is the future.

Terminator is back in 2018

He told you he would be back but Arnold just took a different form.

Want to hire this software from the distant future to work for you now?

Well, it is ready to seek and destroy!

See How

Here;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/pixamatic-pro/

I will see you in the near future.

Sincerely,

Jay ( AKA John Connor )

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Uncategorized

A.I. Software Captures Swarms Of Social Media Traffic On Autopilot

Intelligent Social Media Software Captures Leads And Sales Around The Clock 24/7 Making The Cash Registers Sing?

Don’t want to spend all day on social media like a Kardashian sister?

But, still want fresh new leads and sales for your business.

Hiring someone to create graphics and content for your business can get very costly as you know.

But,

What if you could create fresh new content and graphics with a sophisticated algorithm that creates content and designs for your social media posts on demand?

Well, this breakthrough software works for you around the clock doing all the hard work for you.

And, this genius created the perfect weapon for social media.

Watch to reach billions of people on social media?

Well, now you can!

See how here;

http://jaysonlinereviews.com/go/pixamatic-pro/

This is awesome!

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Uncategorized

Pick From 12 Done For You Websites In The Hottest Selling Niches

Everything Is Outsourced And You Do Not Need To Know A Thing To Run A Super Profitable Business In Your Free Time…

But what if you could make most of the money while someone else does all the hard work?

Sounds smarter than Albert Einstein creating the theory of relativity.

Check out these 12 smart sites that are completely done for you and ready to deliver.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/hyhdb7wi031jvcu/Digital%20Services%20Reseller%20Sites.docx?dl=0

Pretty easy to run and scale too without much more time spent.

These sites are an example of a super smart business model in 2018.

And these done for you sites are hot, hot, hot, in demand niches for 2018 and way beyond.

Like what you see?

So do I that is why I got involved.

Think Fiverr and Freelancer outsourcing services where you keep most of them money and do not do any of the actual work!

This is the business that you have been waiting for.

Place your orders here;

https://resellerbusinesssource.com/

Leave me a message on the chat box on the lower right hand corner of the site or just email me if you have any questions.

Let’s make 2018 our best year ever in the hot selling digital marketing service niche.

talk to you soon.

Jay

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Hulk Smash

Hulk Smash – Top Suits Hire Hulk To Destroy These Money Making Sites

Hulk Smash!!!!

Oh he is pissed he is turning green and ripping everything in his sight to shreds.

He is coming!

You better run faster than Loki when Thors magical hammer is circling his melon.

His green muscles are glistening in the summer sun…

Man, you can really tell he works out!

The suits that hired the green machine were pissed that these sites were eating into there profits
like a great white tearing into a cape seal.

He was ordered by his superiors to smash on sight!

These sites are some real cheddar makers to say the least.

This is the hottest business model to be in for 2018 and beyond.

Let me tell you why:

scalable = Check

High profit margin = Check

Done For You = Check

Outsourced Work = Check

Free Chat Box @ Lead Generation = Check

Free Domains = Check

Free Support = Check

Don’t have to know crap = Check

Can you answer a few emails and forward orders to your outsourcer?

Well, great you wont have to turn green to make a ton of money with this;

Here are some examples of the sites:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/hyhdb7wi031jvcu/Digital%20Services%20Reseller%20Sites.docx?dl=0

If you are interested in getting one or more of these badboys for yourself order here;

https://resellerbusinesssource.com/

Turn back into David Banner and release the hulk on your competition.

B.T.W. The new Avengers Infinity Wars was awesome:)

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